HERE’S ME SHARING MY THOUGHTS ON MY ONGOING LOVE AFFAIR WITH BLOGGING, CONSTANTLY FALLING IN AND OUT OF LOVE, CONSTANTLY QUESTIONING BUT NEVER QUITE JUST GIVING UP
Blogging is an incredibly fast paced, exciting, beautifully accepting and uplifting profession to be included within and is moving at a totally rapid pace; forever changing, evolving and growing. We have the power to create communities, offer guidance and support to people half way across the world and change peoples lives – inspire them, comfort them and have a positive influence upon them. It’s amazing and last year was the best yet; I celebrated being a freelancer for a year (read all about the highs and lows here) I went on 5 press trips (which was a big deal for me – my fave was definitely wintery Poland!) my income increased and I knew where I wanted to take my blog and it’s progress.
Fast forward to now and I’m faced with the prospect of a new year I currently have little plans for, whilst everyone around me seems to only be on the up, growing, flourishing and I feel a little bit stuck and lost if I’m honest. I briefly touched upon this in my New Years post about the pressure of reaching every goal and the huge stress we place upon ourselves. When I aired my thoughts on Instagram it seems like I’m not alone in this and after feeling down about blogging, stuck in the self comparison game and not sure how to lift myself up, I finally after much perseverance feel better and optimistic. Here’s me sharing my thoughts on my ongoing love affair with blogging, constantly falling in and out of love, constantly questioning but never quite just giving up.
LOSING A HANDFUL OF INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD
The other day I’d had enough, enough of wallowing, enough of plotting to create a rival Instagram App (seriously though, who wants to create something that ACTUALLY shows EVERYONE you follow in CHRONOLOGICAL-BLOODY-ORDER!) I haven’t grown on Instagram for seemingly forever, BUT (silver linings) my Youtube is slowly growing and I’m having fun pouring my thoughts into meaningful and insightful blogposts that I can see you guys really enjoy! I binge-watched Black Mirror one Sunday morning and a particular Episode on Season 3 made me laugh and almost eye roll at social media – it so easily becomes over excessive and turns us anxious, paranoid and left feeling unworthy – in all this it’s important to remember to LIVE and to not obsess at things that get you down. Do all you can to improve a situation but trying to be happy, healthy and appreciative is for sure more important than tripling my following on Instagram (although this gal won’t be complaining if these numbers decide to multiply haha!) I began to focus on other areas of my life to refresh my mindset – My acting, my future and allowing other things besides blogging to enter my life. It’s my job, my hobby and I have no idea where I’d be without it but I think it also clouded my judgement and majorly shifted my priorities – sometimes you need to shake things up a bit to get reinsured and decide what you need and want to focus on! Something learnt? Losing a handful of Instagram followers IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! Don’t panic, you’re worth more than that.
LIFE ISN’T ALL RAINBOWS, SUNSHINES AND PRIMARK HAULS (ALTHOUGH I DO BLOODY LOVE A GOOD PRIMARK HAUL)
The thing is, whether blogging is your job, you started a week ago, you’ve been doing it leisurely for 8 years or just read others for pleasure – it’s something that is pretty demanding and you get out what you put in for the most part. I felt lost towards the end of last year, a bit unhappy at times too, which I felt, personally, if I were to vlog and pretend I’m happy when I’m not – would be putting out the wrong message and contradicting myself. But with lack of content I would lack to grow and so the downward spiral continues. I couldn’t bring myself to be inspired for new videos, for new posts and to create content. Looking at my Instagram sickened me to a degree on my down days, because looking at that collective of squares you would assume the person behind them was a fun, smiley, gal-on-the-go rocking the latest Zara jacket, when in actuality, reality was a bit different.
I like Instagram to be inspirational and curated – I want it to be little gallery of things I love, so the OOTD’s and pretty flatlays will never disappear, but I also openly share my struggles on my Insta Stories and photo captions. I think this is important and I guess, my way of being honest and sharing where I’m at. Writing and creating is a sanctuary and I’m beyond lucky to have that as a job, so something needed to change. Lesson learnt here? TALK about feeling down, write about it, it’s normal and life isn’t all rainbows, sunshine and Primark hauls (although I do bloody love a good Primark haul!) Your private life is yours and I don’t put pressure on myself to share how I’m feeling ALL THE TIME online, whether that’s happy, sad or ecstatic. But if you think you can talk passionately about it and someone, somewhere could take something valuable away – you do your thing and write, photograph and film your way about it!
I TOLD MYSELF TO STOP BEING SUCH AN ARSE AND GET OUT, TAKE SOME IMAGES, FILM, WRITE AND GET INSPIRED
You can’t force inspiration and motivation – it’s OKAY if you feel down about you blog, unsure about what you want to write about and how you want your Instagram feed to look. (because aren’t we all torn about what we want to post and thinking what we should be posting!) However, you can read your favourite blogs, read books, watch your fave vloggers, scroll through your saved pins and ask yourself what YOU like to read and what YOU like to watch. I even turned to you guys on Insta Stories and just asked you straight up, which images you prefer! Turns out you guys love casual, on the go, iPhone snaps of my OOTD’s – so that’s what I decided to bring more of to Instagram and so far I feel great and refreshed and excited!
I realised that feeling down and being unproductive wasn’t going to get me anywhere – so I lugged myself to a coffee shop and wrote. I filmed some more videos (one of which took 3 attempts and resulted in me almost chucking my camera across the floor.) I took to the chilly streets to shoot some outfits, undeterred by the awful woman at me gawking and rolling her eyes at me through a window (this very window in these shots haha!) and you know, they are actually some of my fave to date. I tried something new on Lightroom, felt super comfortable in my casual get up (half of my Pinterest is laid back, street style!) and I felt so much better for being pro active and working towards some newness! We all move at different paces; admire those striding forward and offer a helping hand to those struggling to take steps. I lost my blogging mojo somewhere back in 2017 amongst Christmas Pudding and it came back with vengeance in the midst of January. Watch this space.
SHOP THE OUTFIT
I hope you enjoyed this read beauts and I hope it helped to anyone feeling a little lost too – always here for a chat and I’m only a tweet away! As always I’d LOVE to know your thoughts and please do remember to leave your blog link in the comments so I can enjoy some new reads!
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Photography by Ben Kapur