IN A WORLD WHERE WE CAN ALL GET SUCKED UP IN PRODUCING MEDIOCRE AND MAINSTREAMED CONTENT, I’VE BEGAN TO FEEL FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF
Well isn’t that a total, cracker of a title; Am I a bad blogger? We know from recent posts, such as falling out of love with blogging and having a blogging identity crisis, that I’ve been in a weird sort of place recently. With the blogging industry moving in waves, I’ve felt totally overwhelmed. I don’t want to go with the current, but I also don’t want to swim totally against it, nor do I fancy getting stranded at sea (metaphorically, although I still definitely don’t fancy it!) In a world where we can all get sucked up into producing ‘mediocre’ or mainstreamed content just to fit in and go with the flow, I’ve felt frustrated with myself. How do I create something that is uniquely, true to myself, whilst both being popular with audiences and brands alike?
Now when it comes to being a person; I think I’m kinda good at it. I’m kind, I’m sensitive and try to be as compassionate of others and the world as I can be. But blogging? Do I monetise as much as I should? Definitely not. Am I the epitome of original? Who am I kidding. Do I stick to rigorous posting schedules? No, as hard as I try. I might not tick all the categories of a successful blogger, but isn’t this the beauty and uniqueness of it all? If you’re ever feeling unmotivated, unsure of yourself and where you stand in the blogosphere, or just a lil’ bit crap; here’s all the things I’m totally feeling right now and guilty of – and why it’s okay. You’re awesome just the way you are, making your millions through affiliates or not.
I’M A CRAP SALES PERSON
I have the biggest anxiety of appearing pushy or overbearing – it’s my worst fear and once, when I had to hand out pamphlets for college, I was left a stuttering, mess and sacked it off for a Costa. I mean, when I’m passionate about something – whether that’s a current social topic or my fave foundation – I can talk about it with all the adjectives known to man. I love how I’m able to share my fave things with people across the world and chat to you like I would a bestie at a sleepover. The thing that terrifies me, is making EVERYTHING about sales. It’s something I don’t really want my internet space to solely become – I want a healthy balance. Everything must be monetisable and it lays on this huge pressure that you’re doing something wrong if you’re not. I realised I could probably do better by linking more, pushing more, telling people where things were from before anyone asked. I’ve made a conscious effort to make it easier for people to check things out they may like on my Instagram, without hopefully becoming too pushy. In the same breath of air – people have asked me to include shopping Insta stories more. My verdict? Go along with what you’re happy with. If you find doing lots of affiliates and sales works – stick at at! If it’s not your thang? Do it your way and don’t stress! Just because you’re doing it different to others doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
“Admittedly, I do now stick to a rough schedule, in the loosest sense of the word. I like to have my post days, but don’t punish myself if I don’t manage it. Life happens. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
SOMETIMES I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WRITE
More recently so, I’ve noticed I have had a significant lack of direction – I have lots of ideas but no idea how to carry them out. I sit at my laptop for HOURS on end, procrastinating, tweeting – doing anything but channelling my energy productively. I can’t force write. Well, I can, but it comes out just that: forced and as much joy to read as a cereal box. I like to write about what’s on my mind and whilst I have a list probably 500 long of blog post ideas (maybe I’ll share one day?) I have to sift through and wait until I’m inspired by something that’s current. Everyone get’s writers and bloggers block – it’s just a nuisance mine has decided to stick around for a while. I actually wrote about it here.
Similarly, scrolling through my YouTube videos just makes me feel lost. Doing hauls upon hauls doesn’t excite me in the slightest, but the views they reap helps my growth and so I’m torn. I want to create something new, something I’m passionate about that people might look at and say ‘huh, that’s cool’. Inspiration sometimes takes time to hit you, but before it does it can be a frustrating and tedious waiting game. In the mean time, I’m spending lots of time on Pinterest, and trying to pin point what I actually really enjoy reading and watching. I’d love to know if you have any tips for getting yourself out of the blogging lull!
I’VE ADMITTED DEFEAT TO INSTAGRAM AND AM DISREGARDING NUMBERS
The divide is still so real with Instagram. Whilst some are growing faster than ever on Instagram, others just can’t seem to grow, with plummeting likes and self esteem with it. It is disheartening, I’m not gonna lie. I feel like the App favours some and disregards others. This said, I’m probably the happiest I’ve ever been with my content on there – and that’s what matters. I may get less likes (WHY, like why is this happening?!) but in fact my DM’s have never been more plentiful – so those who are seeing my content are engaged and that’s great! It’s scary, especially when it’s a source of income but ‘yanno what? My mental health and well being is much more important than a shitty algorithm, so these days I rarely spend time on social media other than when I upload. I enjoy catching up on Twitter, Tweeting my mishaps and making virtual friends and this in itself has resulted in a gradual growth.
I’m trying to enjoy social media again, but also realising it’s not the end of the world if I don’t grow as fast as I my peers. I’ll figure it out. Being a happy person is much more important and Instagram was getting me so down to the point where I was questioning bloody everything. I refuse to spend hours on it, trying to please whatever algorithm there is in order to grow. I have faith that if I keep creating content I enjoy that others will too. Numbers aren’t everything and that’s something that’s more prevalent now than ever. Stop stressing and comparing. Breathe, relax, refocus and get excited about creating.
SHOP THE OUTFIT
Would really love to know if any of you can relate to this or if you have any things that make you feel like ‘a bad blogger’ – Pop a comment below or my Insta DM’s are always open for a chat! PS: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading; it honestly means the world!
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Photography by Ben Kapur